Love

 

The month of February is with us again and, if you are following your church calendar, or at least taking notice of what is on display in supermarkets and card shop windows, you will know that Valentine's Day will soon be upon us.

 

The origins of this festival go back many centuries. The church celebrates the martyrdom of St Valentine who died on February 14th, 269 A.D. after he refused to renounce his Christian faith. Legend also says that St. Valentine left a farewell note for the jailer's daughter, whom he had befriended, signing it "From Your Valentine". Other stories say that Saint Valentine served as a priest at the temple during the reign of Emperor Claudius, whom he defied, leading to his imprisonment.

 

Whatever the truth regarding the  romanticism  surrounding the event of

St Valentine's death, in 496 A.D., Pope Gelasius set aside February 14th to honour him as a Christian martyr. Over time, this date has become associated with exchanging messages of love, poems, flowers, cards and gifts, and we now honour St. Valentine as the patron saint of lovers.

 

Whilst it is right and proper for us to join in fully with all that goes into celebrating St Valentine's Day, expressing love to those close to us should be done throughout the whole year, and not be confined to just one day. I don't mean with the endless exchange of gifts and cards, though periodically these are a nice touch; but with all that it truly means to be in love and to show love.

 

The commercialisation of Valentine's Day can occasionally over-sentimentalise love and leave its true meaning and nature understated. Love of course involves giving gifts and taking a loved one out for a meal, etc., but at its heart, it is far more sacrificial than that. Love is a way of being and a way of life, and sometimes it is very hard work.

 

One of the most popular bible passages read at weddings is taken from Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. In it he says 'Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.' Love is clearly more than an emotional feeling, and the attributes listed above determine that love has a very pragmatic purpose in life defined by the way we treat each other.

 

If we are honest with ourselves, we do not always live up to this 'standard of love' described by Paul. Often our natural inclinations lean towards jealousy, selfishness, resentment and misunderstanding, and despite our best efforts to express love and 'be good', these negative and potentially destructive feelings can simmer away just beneath the surface, and spill over in the form of bickering, acrimony, and emotional pain.

 

The power for us to tackle these unloving feelings comes from God alone and not ourselves. To be in relationship with God is to be in relationship with love itself, and to draw upon that transforming love which changes us from the inside. One natural consequence of being in relationship with God is the effect it has upon all of our other relationships, not just our partners or loved ones whom we will treat specially on Valentine's Day, but all of our relationships with extended family, friends, and work colleagues, and especially those with whom we struggle to get along with at times.

 

May St Valentine's Day this year provide a window for you to look through and encounter the deep and unfathomable love of God, which can enrich us and all whom we love and care for.

 

 

Revd Andy Grant.